5 Practical Tips to Get Your Wife to Desire You Again

Have you ever worried that your wife might not be as attracted to you as she once was? Or maybe you've noticed that her desire for you isn't as strong as it used to be. If so, you're not alone.

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life—juggling work, kids, and household responsibilities—our love lives can sometimes take a back seat. It's easy for passion to fizzle when there's so much on our plates.

But here's the good news: keeping the flame alive doesn't have to be a mystery. With a few simple and practical steps, you can reignite that spark and rekindle the desire in your marriage.

Stick around because I will share some straightforward strategies for restoring that magnetic connection with your wife today.

Oh, and by the way, you can listen to this as a podcast here, or watch the YT video.

Understanding What Causes Low Sex Drive in Women

Before we get into the tips you can follow to make your wife desire you again, let's first discuss the elephant in the room. 

The reason your wife may not be in the mood doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you. It could also be because of several other reasons, including: 

• Health issues or chronic illnesses

• Hormonal imbalances

• Mental issues

• Stress or fatigue

• Sexual dysfunction (such as Anorgasmia)

All of these factors can cause a low libido. If the issue persists, make sure you address the source of the problem. 

However, let's get into the things you can do to make your wife fall in love with you all over again and desire you sexually. 

5 Tips to Get Your Wife to Desire You Again

So before I get into the practical tips, I want to clarify that the disconnect you're feeling with your wife ISN'T just your fault. It's actually very common for couples to get stuck in a rut and for us to take each other for granted. 

This isn't about blaming you or telling you all the things you need to do. Instead, it’s saying, "Okay, this has happened. We're in this situation, and I miss that feeling of being desired. What can we do about it?" 

So, let's jump into the tips!

1. Focus on Small, Unexpected Gestures

When you're in a long-term relationship, it's the small things that can undo it and cause a divorce, such as living past each other, not saying you love each other as frequently, not holding hands anymore, etc. 

Eventually, these things start to add up and turn into big issues. 

In the same way, these small things can bolster and uplift your relationship.

So, what small things can you start to do to remind her that you're thinking of her and that she's important to you? 

Here are some ideas: 

• Leave a little note on her pillow or slip it into her bag before leaving. 

• Send her a beautiful text message. 

• Pick up her favourite coffee. 

• Hold her hand while you're watching a movie together. 

• Hug her from behind while she's making dinner. 

It isn't about the size of the gesture but rather about the thought. 

Not only will it help her shift her mindset to remember that she's important to you and that you're the wonderful man she chose to be with, but it will also shift you into a different frame of mind, one that actually appreciates her.

In turn, by making these small gestures, your wife will likely start to reciprocate, and the emotional and physical intimacy between you two will start to flare up. 

2. Make Use of Reconnection Opportunities

Next, I want to talk to you about the power of reconnection. 

So here I speak specifically about those moments in your day when you come back together after work or being apart for the day. 

Perhaps you went to work, she went to work, or you both had to run different errands.  

When you finally do come together, take a moment to reconnect with your wife.

Let her know you're happy to see her. 

• If you're the one coming in the door, you're going to go straight to her. Don't start complaining or asking where your dinner is or anything else. Instead, go straight to her and ask her about her day or give her a hug or kiss. 

• Or, if you are the one at home and your partner is coming in, stop what you're doing, get up, and greet them. 

These are golden moments that we often let slip us by. 

You can give her a 30-second hug. Studies have shown that a 30-second hug releases oxytocin, which helps make you happier and live longer. 

You can also share a six-second kiss. 

Take these reconnection opportunities and live in them fully. 

Get mindful of them. 

You know your wife a lot better than I do. Perhaps you know that she enjoys something else besides a hug or a kiss. Do that instead.

Ask yourself, "What can you do to uplift your moments of reconnection?"

It needs to be authentic to you.

For example, I love to climb on top of my husband's lap and give him a big hug and a kiss. I love it even more because he likes to squirm and pretend he hates it—when, in reality, I know he adores it.

So, what are you going to do?

Start doing it today. 

Just remember that it may be weird the first time because she's not used to it. But don't be scared to shift things up.

3. Incorporate Date Nights

Now, you may or may not have already done date nights.

 If you do, are they quite boring? 

Let's be honest. We often do the same old things. We go to dinner, watch a movie, and then go home.

But the thing is, if you have dinner and watch a movie afterwards, you'll be really full and tired by the time you get home. 

Not the ideal scenario to spice up your sex life, right? 

Why not shake things up a little bit? 

Again, it doesn't have to be some momentous thing you're doing. It can just be shifting the order of things.

There's one concept called a "sex-first date" after where you have intimacy first and then go and have your date afterwards. It doesn't have to be intercourse. It can be anything. But you're having that connection at the beginning of the date. 

The importance of your scheduled date night isn't the frequency, where you go, or what you do. What is important is that you're prioritising each other and carving out that time for connection. 

So, once you've shifted the order of events, what can you do in the fun part of the date? 

Here are some date night ideas: 

• Create a themed dinner at home: You and your wife can make an Italian meal together. Get an Italian wine, play some Italian music, dress up, learn a couple of Italian words, etc. 

• Have an art night: Buy some canvases and paints and have a painting night at home. You can follow a YouTube tutorial or let the creativity flow freely. You could even attempt to paint each other for a more fun time!

• Game night with a twist: Choose your favourite board game or card game, but add a fun twist to make it more interesting. For example, the winner of each round gets to give the other a sexy dare. 

See... it doesn't need to be huge. 

You're just showing that you're putting in more effort. You're just going beyond the current routine of your date nights.

Again, it's putting in the thought because, at the end of the day, it'll be the thought that makes her think, "Oh my goodness, he's putting in a lot of care and effort," which will make your wife fall in love with you all over again. 

This is a really powerful way to help her desire you again because you're reminding her that you're worth desiring. 

You're flipping awesome. And she knows you're awesome—that's why she married you in the first place—but she's just forgotten about it amidst the busyness of life.

And in all fairness, you've probably forgotten the same about her too. 

So this is a great chance to remind each other that you're bloody fun to hang out with. 

Now, if you want some inspiration for your date nights, I wrote 2 FREE Sexy Date Night Plans (completely planned out for you). They're fun, one-page PDFs, each with a video explainer🙂.

4. Work On Your Confidence

Now, the next suggestion to help you be desired by your wife again is to work on yourself and your confidence. 

Let's face it: As the years go by, things start to change, and you might feel less confident in yourself.

The thing about confidence is that it can change the way someone else sees you. Your wife will feel that you're feeling confident, and that's sexy. 

Confidence is a very attractive trait. 

But, perhaps you're feeling insecure about your body, your performance, or any number of different things. This may be giving you low self-esteem, which results in relationship problems and hinders the sexual connection you used to have with your wife.  

So, what can you do to work on your confidence? 

There are a lot of different things. I actually have a free guide on this. It's called "A Guide to Sexual Confidence for Men." It outlines several different things you can do to build your confidence and boost your sexual performance in the process! 

But in the meantime, here are a few things you can do to increase your confidence; 

• Go to the gym: This is going to give you those endorphins.

• Take on a new hobby: Consider things you enjoy, such as woodworking, reading, or playing an instrument.

• Dress for success: How you dress can significantly improve how you feel. 

You can also set personal goals for yourself. 

Ask yourself: 

• What would make you feel better? 

• Is there something specific that you're feeling insecure about? 

• How can you focus on that? 

Maybe talking to somebody could help.

Regardless, working on your confidence is beneficial. It’ll help you feel better, and it’ll show. 

You'll notice a difference regarding your partner's sexual attraction to you. So this is a win for you and your wife😉.

5. Create a Sexy Environment

Now my next tip is a really practical one that's often missed. 

You might be feeling undesired by your wife, but it could have nothing to do with you.  

It could be as simple as your bedroom because women are often impacted by their environment. 

So what is your bedroom like? Is it sexy?

For many women, it's important to feel safe and in the mood before getting things on.

They have this part of their brain that scans the environment for unsafe or unsexy things. 

For example, if you have pictures of your kids in the bedroom, this may be a turnoff for her. We don't want pictures of the kids in your love nest. You also don't want piles of washing, clothes hanging around, or clutter. 

So ask yourself: 

• Can you change your bedroom to become a space that is conducive to pleasure? 

• Can you upgrade the lighting? Put on some low-level lamps, or get those battery-operated candles. 

• Can you remove the TV (because it's a massive distraction)? 

Trust me, this is going to help. 

The only technology I recommend you have in your bedroom is a bluetooth speaker so you can play some romantic music. 

Try to make your bedroom a space of sexiness and erotica so you can easily get your wife in the mood and increase her sex drive. 

Ready to Implement These Tips? 

So there you have it—five simple actions that you can take today to shift things in your relationship so that you start to feel desired once again by your wife.

Let me know in the comments if you found these helpful. What is your favourite one? 

And if you think that despite all of this, your wife is still not going to want to have sex with you, then check out this blog post that covers five things you can do right now if your wife doesn't want to have sex. It has some excellent ideas to help you navigate that.