10 Sexy Foreplay Ideas to Spice Things Up in the Bedroom

Is your sex life and foreplay routine feeling a little... underwhelming? It may feel like it's been ages since you've tried different things that keep the excitement going. 

Don’t fret. It happens to the best of us. Because sometimes, things can get a little stale in the bedroom if you're only ever having penetrative sex. 

But here’s the good news — if it’s gone a bit stale, you can always rely on foreplay to spice things up and make your sexual experience SO MUCH hotter! 

Let’s get into 10 foreplay techniques guaranteed to turn up the heat in your bedroom.

Is Foreplay Really That Important?

Short answer: Yes! Don’t skip it.

Foreplay is often misunderstood. Too many see it as just a quick prelude to the "main event" (sexual intercourse) when, in reality, it’s one of the most rewarding aspects of intimacy — for both partners. 

It's not just a warm-up act, like a TV show you half-watch until something more thrilling starts.

For women in particular, foreplay is crucial. Why? Because it helps build mental arousal or desire and increases physical pleasure. It’s all about creating that connection and taking things slow. 

Plus, ignoring foreplay can seriously affect her ability to orgasm. If you've ever heard of the "orgasm gap" — it’s real, and women are the ones left waiting at the finish line.

Bottom line: Foreplay is key to having not just good sex, but mind-blowing sex — especially for women. 

It Doesn’t Have to Be Rushed…

Come on, be honest: how often do you skim over foreplay? Even when you don’t, how much quality time do you spend on it? Five minutes? Ten? Less than twenty minutes is pretty typical, but seriously, 20 minutes should really be your starting point.

Women usually need more stimulation outside of the vagina...and actually on her vulva to get in the mood. Not only do women’s sex drive change over the years, but it can also be harder for women to get aroused. 

So, the way you can overcome this is to give her body some love and attention beyond a quick rub here or there. 

Isn’t it sexier when she’s completely into it? That connection is fire — and that’s what good foreplay can help you spark.

10 Foreplay Ideas That’ll Have You Both Buzzing

1. Play with Food

Whoever said playing with your food was bad never tried it like this!

How to start? Make it a movie night. But here’s the trick: Don’t pick something you’re dying to watch because, let’s face it, the movie’s barely going to get a look-in.

What to have on hand:

• Sliced fruits like berries or melons

• Whipped cream, melted chocolate

• Anything that’s tasty (but easy to clean up after)

You’ll want to be somewhere you don’t mind things getting a little messy, whether under a blanket or just, well, naked. Feed each other. Laugh at the cream spills. 

Most importantly, let it be playful. Imagine passing a raspberry between mouths or licking a smear of chocolate off a bare shoulder.

The romance and fun will get things...sticky (in all the right ways). This kind of foreplay doesn’t have to lead anywhere immediately, but it will definitely help break the ice and set the mood.

2. Sensual Massage

Yes, it’s a classic. But when done right, a sensual massage can be captivating.

Oil or shower?

Pick your poison. Both are divine, but complete the mood by dimming the lights, lighting candles, and maybe putting on some soft music. Use body-safe oils that glide smoothly over the skin, or take things into the shower with a lot of steamy soap action. 

The key: Go slow with sensual touch. It's not about "accidentally" finding the more obvious spots too soon. Tease the skin with slow, intentional strokes. Explore her body like it’s new to you. And P.S., avoid oils if things are headed south. Use a lubricant that plays it safe down there.

Focusing on each other’s bodies without rushing opens the door to deeper arousal. Plus, it’s mega relaxing — which makes for a better connection.

3. Temperature Play

Now we’re turning things up — or cooling them down.

Temperature play is a simple way to boost anticipation because it touches on sensory feelings we don’t typically associate with the bedroom. 

How to play with temps:

• Use an ice cube (top tip: put lube on first so it doesn’t stick)

• Heat a glass or metal toy in warm water

• Give her chills by pairing hot and cold sensations, like sucking on a nipple with a warm mouth and then tracing the area with an ice cube

Hot and cold, used together, can really ramp up the excitement. Plus, the contrast allows for new feelings and intensifies the experience. It’s playful, surprising, and way out of the usual box!

4. Deep Kissing

Let’s bring back the slow, sensual kiss.

No, not a quick peck before heading out the door. We’re talking about deep, meaningful kissing with a real feeling behind it.

Pretend you’re in a steamy movie scene. Suck on her lower lip. Gently nibble. Make use of your tongue. And most importantly, focus on nothing else but exploring each other’s mouths the way you used to when everything was still fresh and new.

Kissing is powerful. It’s arousing, builds emotional intimacy, and helps both of you relax into things. Plus, it’s simple. You can turn up the heat with just a little extra effort.

5. Mutual Masturbation

The next foreplay idea is to masturbate in front of each other. Now, I know this one might feel a little edgy, but trust me, it’s a winner.

Have you ever seen her really pleasure herself? If not, here’s your chance, and you’ll learn a lot from it. You can both touch yourselves under the covers together in dim light or even in the dark if that’s more comfortable.

Why is mutual masturbation so great? Well, for starters, it’s vulnerable. Showing each other how you navigate your own pleasure can be just as intimate as anything else in the bedroom. Not to mention it’s an amazing way to pick up on little tricks that might get missed in the heat of the moment.

Top tip: Pay attention to her moves. Where is she touching? How fast? How much pressure? Trust me, you’ll want to remember the details.

Also, if you’re interested in learning more ways you can have hotter sex, you can grab my FREE list of 26 Hot Sex Ideas here. 

6. The Allure of Erotica

Erotica isn’t just about dirty stories or dodgy romance novels. Engaging with erotica — whether by reading, watching, or listening — can be an exciting way to explore fantasies you might not have ever considered.

You can sneak some pages of her favourite book at bedtime, or better yet, get an audiobook you can listen to together. It’s a great way to spend intimate time together without having to come up with the story yourself. 

She might even get a little turned on by discovering that you’re interested in her fantasy world of dark knights or seductive vampires.

7. Sensation Play

This is for the partners who like to experiment with different sensations.

Have some fun playing with textures: soft fabrics, rougher brushes, and maybe even something cool like a metal claw (be careful with that one). 

The idea is to create a new form of excitement by heightening the senses. Blindfolds help a lot here because when you can’t see what’s coming next, every touch feels more intense.

How about testing feather-soft strokes across her belly or running cool satin along her thighs? It can be a great way to prolong the arousal and edge her into a whole new state of excitement.

Add a little heat and cold, and don’t forget some dirty whispers in the ear!

8. Roleplay

There are a few ways to spice up your bedroom life, but roleplay can really get the fireworks going.

Whether it’s stepping in as the "naughty librarian" or pretending to be a strict tennis coach with a lesson to teach, roleplay lets you both switch off from daily life. 

She gets to take a break from being "her" — juggling work, kids, life — and instead step into a whole new character. It’s fun, freeing, and takes away all the usual bedroom pressure.

How to start: Send a cheeky text during the day, something like, “Be prepared for your late tennis lesson tonight, Missy! No excuses.” You get the idea.

9. Focusing Solely on Oral Sex

Talk about putting her pleasure front and centre. Instead of seeing oral as a quick prelude to penetration, how about making oral the star of the show? Focus on her entirely. Take it slow, go at her pace and let her guide you — either verbally or through her body language.

Pro-tip: Get comfortable, whether that’s having her sit on your face (“Face Sitting 101” anyone?), or kneeling while she’s laying comfortably on the edge of the bed. 

Make it clear this is all about giving, not expecting. You’ll be amazed at how this single act says, “You’re more than worth it.”

10. Turn It Into a Game

If the bedroom is your playground, why not make it fun? Sexy games are a fab way to break tension and make things light-hearted. Whether it’s "strip Monopoly" or dancing around like a fool, adding a dose of humour can work wonders.

The goal isn’t perfection — it’s spontaneity.

Put on a ridiculous playlist and throw yourself into a terrible dance routine. Do something that’ll make her laugh, and she’ll start forgetting all the heavy stuff from the day.

Remember, the best way to connect is by creating a space where you both feel totally comfortable.

Practical Foreplay Tips

To keep this all rolling seamlessly, let’s go over a few quick pointers that’ll make sure this all succeeds:

• Be present. No one’s truly "into it" if you’re thinking about grocery lists.

• Stay curious. Let her show you what feels good.

• Lack judgment. She deserves to explore in the way she feels most comfortable.

• Communicate easily. Checking in can be as simple as asking, "Like this?" Don’t dig too deep, but let her know you care.

• Use sex toys to help. You can also use a sex toy, such as a suction toy, clit clamp, or vibrator, to get things hot and going. Discover some of the best toys you can incorporate into your foreplay here.  

Keep Foreplay Fun. Keep It Sexy.

This list of 10 foreplay ideas will get the fire back in your sex life, but the most important thing to remember is just how vital it is to enjoy yourselves. If you're both having fun, the pressure disappears, and what’s left is connection, excitement, and a whole lot of pleasure.

Want more ideas? Check out 52 Sexy Date Nights, an eBook with ideas to make your love life an ongoing adventure. Explore everything from roleplaying to naughty surprise dates — all mapped out with props and tips!

Which idea will you try first? Drop a comment below — I’d love to know! You can also let me know what sex tips you want next. Oh, and happy exploring...