How to Get Your Wife to Dominate You in the Bedroom (Without Making It Weird)

Ever wish your wife would take charge in the bedroom? 

Want her to call the shots, be the boss, and show you a different side of herself? If so, you’re not alone. Many men fantasise about letting go of control, despite the fact that society often expects them to be “in charge”. 

It’s no surprise, considering the constant pressure to be decisive, assertive, and the one to make things happen in life.

But when it comes to sex, flipping the script can open doors to whole new levels of excitement and connection. 

Let’s be honest: wouldn’t it be nice to let her lead for once? If you’re curious (or even a bit nervous) about how to make this happen, don’t worry. I’ve got you covered. Let’s break it down.

Understanding What You Really Want

Before you even think about bringing this up with your partner, let’s get one thing clear: what exactly do you want her to do? 

The word "dominate" might mean different things to different people. To her, the idea of dominating might be something completely different from what you’re imagining. 

She may be imagining a full-blown sex dungeon with whips, ropes, and leather suits while you’re simply imagining her on top, riding you until your eyes roll to the back of your head. 

Take a minute (or several) to figure this out. Do you want her to:

• Initiate more? Is it about her starting intimate moments?

• Take the lead in positions and pace? Maybe you want her to choose how things flow.

• Be verbally dominant? Think instructions or teasing commands (anything from gentle to strict).

• Try new things like face sitting, pegging or light humiliation? There are endless options under the umbrella of domination. You can even check out some guides on these if you're feeling curious.

Figuring out what domination means to you will not only make the conversation with her easier, but it’ll ensure you’re both on the same page.

How to Talk to Your Wife About It (Without Freaking Her Out)

I get it. You’re nervous. Bringing up a desire like this can feel intense — especially if you’ve been together a long time and already have an established bedroom routine. But here’s the deal: if you don’t talk about it, you’ll never know.

The key to success here is framing. You don’t want to come across as if what you’re currently doing isn’t good enough. That’s a surefire way to stir up insecurities.

Instead, think of this as an additional adventure. Frame it as an exciting new layer you can both explore together, not a complete change. For example, say something like:

"I’ve been thinking how fun it might be to try something a little different. What do you think about mixing things up and giving each other new roles in the bedroom?"

Remind her that this isn’t just about you — it’s about you both exploring different sides of yourselves. It’s a chance to share new experiences, strengthen your relationship, and bring some extra fun into your sex life.

Tips to Get Your Wife to Dominate You in Bed (And Make It Good)

Here are some additional tips you can try to make the most of the experience and ensure your wife loves dominating you just as much as you enjoy being dominated by her!

1. Build Her Confidence

Let’s be real: dominating you in the bedroom is probably quite a switch for your wife, especially if she’s used to being more passive or receptive. So, don’t expect her to dive straight into boss-mode after one chat.

Instead, start small and build up. Begin with something simple and easy to try, like:

• Let her choose positions — tonight, she decides where and how.

• Introduce a blindfold — something as small as you wearing a blindfold can shift control to her.

• Gently suggest face-sitting — let her take her pleasure, quite literally, by sitting on your face. (For many, this is a total win!)

By encouraging her to make these smaller decisions or take control in easy ways, her confidence will grow naturally. Plus, compliment her assertiveness! Making her feel powerful and in control outside of the bedroom, too, will help her gain comfort in those dominant energies.

Don’t forget that consent goes both ways. She should enjoy the experience as much as you do. If she’s hesitant or unsure at first, just remind her that you can tweak things together as you experiment. It’s not a one-and-done deal. It’s an ongoing exploration.

2. Create the Right Environment for Play

Once you start diving in, you might find that role-playing is a fantastic way for your wife to explore sexual dominance. Why? Because it gives her permission to step into another persona, without the pressure of “being herself”.

When she’s the strict librarian or stern police officer, it’s almost like a mask she can wear that unlocks her more assertive side.

Some role-play scenarios that could work:

• She's a librarian fed up with your overdue books. Now it’s time for payback.

• She's a police officer who's tired of your speeding and about to dish out some punishment.

You can create whatever dynamic works for you both. Role-play is a safe, fun way to explore new vibes without feeling self-conscious.

3. Set Boundaries and Always Use Safe Words

Whatever you try together, boundaries are non-negotiable. Even if what you’re doing doesn’t feel "that edgy", you'll still want a safe word in place. Why? Because power dynamics add an extra layer of emotion, and sometimes things can get intense unexpectedly.

Having a safe word gives both of you the freedom to stop if necessary — no harm, no foul. It'll also help you relax and really dive into the experience, guaranteeing mutual respect and knowing there’s a clear way out if anyone’s feeling uncomfortable.

4. Incorporate Dirty Talking

Dirty talking can make the sexual experience even hotter! Both you and your wife can talk dirty during intercourse and foreplay. 

You (the submissive person) can say things like, “You’re riding me so good,” or “I love it when you sit on my face.” This will add to the sexyness of the experience and also make her feel more desired and comfortable taking the lead. 

On the other hand, your woman (the dominant partner) can say things like, “I want you deep inside of me right now,” or “Lick me just like that.”

Keep in mind that this may feel awkward at first, especially if you aren’t used to it. But, with practice, dirty talking can become a sexy part of your sex life. 

5. Add Sex Toys to the Mix

Let’s be honest: sex toys can make a world of difference in the bedroom — helping you and your partner experience extreme levels of pleasure. 

So, why not add them to the domination experience?

In the beginning, you can stick with a sex toy (or two, or three😉) you’re both familiar with and love. Like, a couple's vibrators, cock rings, restraints, etc.  

Then, if you’re considering getting a little more adventurous, you can also start using anal plugs that’ll help stimulate your p-spot and give you full-body orgasms. 

Also, I created a post that gives you several different toys you can consider implementing into the experience for more sensual play.  

6. Try Edging

Put simply, edging is orgasm denial. It’s where you withhold an orgasm by bringing a person to the edge of climax, just to stop stimulation before they go over the peak.

When done right, edging can lead to more powerful orgasms than you’ve ever experienced. 

So, you could talk to your wife beforehand and ask her to edge you. To do so, she’s going to go ahead and bring you close to orgasm, stop stimulation, start it up again, stop again… you get the point. 

Since she’s dominating you, she can decide when to finally allow you to orgasm. 

As you can probably tell, edging can be such a powerful tool to use in the bedroom. Here’s a full guide on edging and how to do it.  

7. Don’t Forget Aftercare

When the play is over, don’t just roll over and call it a night. Aftercare is essential. That means spending some time together, reconnecting after the roles have been put away. It can be anything from cuddling to chatting to simply enjoying a snack together.

Aftercare helps bring you back to your usual dynamic and ensures that both of you feel loved, respected, and appreciated. If things got a bit rough or intense, it’s the perfect time to soothe any soreness (physical or emotional) and check in with each other.

Ready to Be a Submissive Husband (and Experience a New Level of Intimacy)?

So, whether you’re curious about light domination or something a bit more adventurous, making it happen with your wife should be fun, safe, and collaborative. The key is thoughtful communication, baby steps, and a good amount of patience.

Be brave. Open up that conversation and see where it goes. Who knows? She might just love being in charge way more than you imagined! And trust me, it’s way better than taking that fantasy to the grave.

If you’re ready to completely transform your sex life, you can check out my Flames Blueprint. It’s your complete guide to creating a passionate and lasting love life.

And if you're feeling frustrated with a partner who isn’t open to trying new things or taking charge in the bedroom, don’t let that hold you back. My 'Riding Solo' course is here to help you reclaim your confidence, explore your desires, and enjoy a deeply satisfying pleasure journey on your own terms.

Start now and reignite your sexual spark from within! Join 'Riding Solo' here.

Till next time!